Two Book Events

I'm thrilled to announce a few new book events to support Balancing Pregnancy With Pre-Existing Diabetes: Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby. I would love to meet you if you're a book fan or a blog reader.

First up is at Isis Parenting in Brookline, MA on Wednesday, June 23 at 7 pm. I'll be speaking on a panel about diabetes and pregnancy that includes the directors of the diabetes and pregnancy program at Boston's Joslin Diabetes Center/Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Florence Brown and Tamara Takoudes, as well as an exercise and diabetes expert from Joslin, Jacqueline Shahar. Isis is a terrific resource for expecting and new parents, and I'm a giant fan of the Joslin/BIDMC pregnancy program. (Drs. Brown and Takoudes co-wrote my book's forward, reviewed every word of it for medical accuracy, delivered my son, and are all-around awesome. And Ms. Shahar is an excellent exercise resource who also contributed great pearls of wisdom for my book.)

Isis is asking for people to register for this FREE event here either by calling 781-429-1500 or by going online (look for the June 23 event).

I'll also be speaking solo about the book at the Framingham MA Barnes & Noble on Wednesday, July 14 at 7pm. I'll give more details as things get closer to the date, but mark your calendar now!

And stay tuned for some new blog posts early next week--it's been too quiet around here for too long!

Three Cheers for "Life Disrupted"

Laurie at A Chronic Dose has written a terrific primer on living well with chronic illness. "Life Disrupted: Getting Real About Chronic Illness in Your 20s and 30s" is part memoir, part sage advice, part narrative about living with an assortment of conditions like diabetes, cystic fibrosis, and, in Laurie's case, a blend of lung ailments and celiac disease that has impacted her life since birth.

The book draws heavily on Laurie's experience as a patient whose childhood, adolescence, college years and early 20s were a blend of the typical (studying hard to become valedictorian, attending Catholic school and later Georgetown) and the atypical (any cold or respiratory problem invariably turned into a hospital stay, usually with an emergency room arrival.) As a professional patient, Laurie gives practical tips about how to become remain proactive and smart about one's own chronic condditions while dealing with health care professionals and others who range from well-meaning to incompetent, from disinterested to life-saving. It's incredible that Laurie has remained as upbeat and down-to-earth as she has.

Several others are profiled, somewhat briefly, as they handle other conditions such as cystic fibrosis, fibromyalgia, and type 1 diabetes, and their insights are rewarding as well. But it's Laurie's deft handling of her own ailments that stands out, giving perspective and guidance to the 125 million of us who live with chronic illness. With "Life Disrupted," Laurie teaches how not only to live with chronic illness, but to live well and thrive.

Week 27 Update:Heart, Furniture, Hiring Help

We had a follow-up fetal echo earlier this week, since the kid was flipping around so much at the last heart appointment. While the doctor told me this was the longest appointment he'd ever had when everything looked good, the key thing is EVERYTHING LOOKED GOOD. No signs of thickening or heart defects which are more common in uncontrolled diabetes. They saw just about everything they needed to see. All is well, at least this week.

I keep adjusting my own overnight basals, because frankly, it's easier to do that than to do the rigamarole of manually writing down blood sugars, boluses, basals, and carb counts and faxing them off to my doctor. For the past few days, my overnights have been pretty stable, which pleases me.

Baby L kicks regularly now. So much that I've wondered if perhaps the kicking is a sign of distress. But then I stop torturing myself and go back to just enjoying the feeling.

Ankles larger, but not freakishly so.

Stomach getting larger every day, but the scale, thankfully, isn't increasing exponentially. I'm maybe only two pounds heavier since my last doc visit a few weeks ago.

Oh, we ordered baby furniture last weekend, after debating the virtues of getting most of it secondhand (cribs, apparently, are not recommended for this, because of SIDS concerns), or going to a number of baby furniture stores in our area. Despite the fact that we buy ourselves secondhand furniture on Craigslist all the time, and that my husband has become something of a CL addict (more on this in a later post), we ended up buying pretty pricey new furniture that we expect this kid to use until it trots off to college. Except for the crib.

And yesterday, rather than do actual work and meet actual deadlines (um, I have a writing assignment due in 12 hours I haven't begun writing yet. Only 125 words, though), I spent the day calling potential pediatrician offices to schedule "get to know you" appointments and researched the differences between a baby nurse, a postpartum doula, and general newborn home care. I realize the majority of new mothers get it together enough to take their own kid home from the hospital and figure out what to do that first week on their own, but friends have said if we can afford to hire help that first week, particularly after recovering from a c-section, it's totally worth it. Family members have also generously offered to cover the costs, so now I need to find someone.

The first place I called, recommended from a friend, is already booked in April. Another place, also recommended, doesn't have a website (!) and is mailing me information. I also read new parent bulletin boards which debated the pros and cons of hiring someone, and the differences between a baby nurse (takes care of the baby, may be less likely to encourage breast feeding, according to one comment I read) and a postpartum doula (takes care of the mother, seems more into the idea of natural births and such, so how will one work with me, who is having a scheduled, likely to be highly-assisted, c-section and owes most of her existence to intense Western medical care?). Have any of you out there hired help for the week after you gave birth, and if so, what'd you think of the experience?

(And yes, while our families live nearby, I honestly think it's better to hire non-family who can help us on either a 24-hour or overnight basis, and I think that's a lot to ask of approaching-elderly parents, some of whom have a number of their own health/personal needs. Plus, one of them is a chain smoker and that's NOT what I want to deal with the week I get home from having a kid.)

This weekend, we have to analyze the three day care contenders we liked best (we've looked at about five or six over the past few weeks), figure out if we're actually going to use them (Mr. L. would love for me to stay home full time with the baby for a year, but knowing how much I love to work, I think it might drive me insane. Then again, I've never raised a child, so how do I know what I'm going to do? Maybe I'll end up wanting to stay home for a year.) We are also doing a bunch of painting and I still need to clean out the future baby's room of all my books and papers and stuff. To that extent, I've made about $80 selling used books to local bookstores recently, and while I thought twice yesterday about selling a few titles (my seventh grade copy of Romeo & Juliet and West Side Story in one volume, for example, or a gift of Stephen Crane's collected works from a now-deceased relative that I never cracked open), I think I'll be OK with letting those titles go to someone who will appreciate them.

Up All Night

Insomnia, again.

Nearly every night, I'm up at some wee hour. I jolt awake at 1:24, or 3:30, or 4:26. I test my blood sugar (last test was 54), treat a reaction if I have to, often get up to use the bathroom, and then I'm awake for a good two hours or more.

I could chalk this up to pregnancy, but it's happened on and off for years. I could consider high blood sugars the culprit, but in my pre- and pregnant state I've woken up with totally in-range numbers. Could it be low blood sugar jolting me awake, then keeping me awake long after I've gobbled six LifeSavers by my bedside? Maybe.

I read something today about anxiety and insomnia, but honestly, I don't think I'm more anxious than usual. Plus, it's not like I can start taking Paxil with the kid within.

So I wake up and go online, surf, blog, and read.

A nurse awhile back said it was good practice for upcoming night feedings.

Will I look back on these insomniac nights with jealousy, as I wake to feed a kid in the wee hours, wishing I could just succumb to my sleep-heavy lids? Or will it be a lot like it is now, with dark shadows illuminated by a glowing computer screen, near-total stillness and quiet, and the occasional muffle as Mr. L. realizes I'm not in bed and, half-asleep, asks me to return, after I've finally soothed the baby back to dreamland?

In the meantime, since it's just me and the keyboard right now, anyone have any advice on how I can get back to sleep?

Ten Observations

I've taken a blogging break for a week and there's so much to say.

1. We're moving forward with IVF, which means I've been reading a lot about fertility drugs and outpatient surgery procedures. It all starts later in June, so once again, I'm playing the waiting game 'til the right time of the month.

2. I've had several episodes of spontaneous tears and frustration, although they've abated a bit.

3. I've called a local therapist who actually has experience with diabetes and infertility, as suggested by my soothing endo. As much as I recommend a certain NY-based therapist to my Big Apple peers, I think seeing someone locally would be beneficial in this case. Like everything else, I'm waiting for the appointment.

4. Last weekend was a child fiesta, as the Mister and I went to several barbecue/parties where kids ran wild. However, in person I think I handled it well and in fact played with a few toddlers and a baby (not all at the same time) and enjoyed them. The Mister smiled a few days later and said it was clear I'd be a great mom, and that it was nice watching me hold our friend's infant and play with the baby on my lap.

5. I've gotten a form from my insurance and am going to submit several months of acupuncture bills to them to see if they'll pay for any of it. In the meantime, I'm taking a bit of a break from acupuncture until the IVF treatment officially starts.

6. My caring and calm endo, who I saw earlier this week for a usual check-up, gave me some suggestions about the diabetes care. Since September, the month we started officially trying to have a kid, I have gained a whopping seven pounds. This is clearly because I'm correcting any post-meal blood sugars over 160 with a small hit of insulin, and then either going low later or otherwise packing on weight when I probably wouldn't have before when my sugars ran higher. Kind Endo told me I shouldn't correct before three hours post-meal, and if I'm running higher before three hours, to adjust my insulin ratio for the meal. "What if I go high after the meal anyway," I asked. "Then we adjust your post-meal basals," she replied. It felt like hearing something I'd never considered before, so this week I'm chilling out on the corrections and figuring out whether my ratios should change.

7. Due to said weight, my shorts from last year just don't fit. While I am trying to exercise my ass smaller, I don't want to wait it out sweating in long pants every weekend. Yesterday I found a nice pair of shorts at Ann Taylor for $10 (yes, you read that right) that were actually comfortable. While I'm not pleased that I'm wearing a size that most Ann Taylor shoppers would swim in, I'm pleased that I didn't have to spend a lot for them, either.

8. I'm also making an effort to write down everything I eat (which has been sporadic this week, but I'm trying) in a modified Weight Watchers plan. I've only ever lost significant weight when I did WW and exercised, so Kind Endo suggested doing a solid 45 minutes of walking every day as well. This week it's been beautiful out so I just go walking at lunch, but today it's rainy so I'll have to get creative about walking. There's a mall near my office, so maybe I'll have to make a visit and walk in circles. Maybe I'll find another pair of $10 shorts?

9. The authors of several infertility blogs I've been reading/catching up on are either about to have their first children, or in the case of Persephone, had twins in the past day or so. Another blogger, Jill, just announced she's pregnant. So perhaps I'm entering into another lifecycle as well.

10. More administrative than anything else: my blog's margins are weirdly messed up and I can't figure out why. As a result, I'm consolidating my links to two pages that list, essentially, all the diabetes blogs and a huge number of infertility blogs, which will cut down on the margin mess-ups, I hope. If you know the HTML programs that Blogger uses, and have any idea why my right margins won't line up, drop me a line and let me know. Thanks. NOW AMENDED TO SAY the fabulous Kassie is not only an HTML goddess (thank you!) so that my margins now look fine, but my Kind Endo passed along a copy of Kassie's fabulous When You're A Parent With Diabetes book. I wanted to read it all before commenting, but suffice it to say that so far, it's terrific. I hope it sells a million copies and helps every single PWD (parent with diabetes) out there. Congrats, K!

Who's Had Their Eyes Lasered?

While I'm waiting to see if I'm actually pregnant, I had an eye doc's appointment earlier this week. I've had non-proliferative retinopathy in both eyes for awhile now, and it's typically meant that I see the eye doctor every 3-6 months. My vision has never been affected and friends marvel that since I don't wear glasses or contacts my eyes must be great.

They're not great at all.

This week, after an appointment where my eyes were dilated and the eye doc directed a bright light into my eyes for so long I felt like I was a prisoner being tortured in Abu Ghraib, the eye doc said she found more leakage of a few blood vessels, and that if I'm pregnant, she'd definitely start with laser treatment in both eyes.

I've had one diabetic friend, diagnosed in childhood around the same time as I was, tell me she had laser treatment when she was 20 and that it didn't affect her vision at all.

And while I've always known intellectually that I would need laser treatment when I got pregnant, and that my eyes for someone who's been T1 for 28 years are typical, the thought of possibly losing my vision made me break down unexpectedly in the eye doctor's chair.

I read for a living. Reading and writing are what define me. The thought of losing my eyesight sends me into a panic.

The eye doc told me that she's done many of these procedures, and that it's possible to lose some peripheral or night vision with laser, but it's also possible that the vision remains the same. After my appointment, I put my hands around my eyes to try to see with restricted peripheral vision. It wasn't bad, but I didn't like it.

I pointed out that my A1Cs have been in non-diabetic ranges for about a year now, so why would my eyes be ready for laser treatment now? The doc only said that it's unclear why things deteriorate when they do, and that because I've been T1 for so long, it was not unusual.

She also pointed out that laser treatment can sometimes quiet the rest of the eye down so that the blood vessels never act up again. That was the one positive nugget I remember.

She was kind and calm and I felt bad that I broke down in her office, but I just wanted to get out of there because she just couldn't give me a lot of definite answers about anything.

So I turn to you, my diabetic peers who know about such experiences firsthand. Who has had laser surgery for severe non-proliferative retinopathy in both eyes? How unpleasant was it? Did you lose any peripheral or night vision? And how'd your eyes react after the surgery? And to be clear, I am not talking about LASIK or sight-fixing laser treatment, nor am I talking about some glamorous cosmetic surgery.

I know a lot of parents with diabetic kids often comment on my posts, and I appreciate any comments at all. But if you've been a longtime lurker and never commented, but YOU KNOW WHAT LASER TREATMENT FOR RETINOPATHY IS LIKE, please share your experiences. Thanks.

Tagged!

I've been tagged by Kassie over at Noncompliant (such a terrific title for a D-Blog, by the way.) Since I'm new to this whole blogging scene, as you may be too, I understand that people within the diabetes blogging community randomly tag one another to spout out five random facts.

On that note, here's my five, plus one.

1. I am a magazine whore. I read because my life depends on it. My favorite thing about where I live is the proximity to my local library. Free books and periodicals...mmmm. Sweeter than candy.

2. I'm in the middle of writing a novel with a diabetic protagonist. Sort of a diabetichick lit. Bridget Jones with a pump. You'd buy this if you saw it on Amazon or at your local bookstore, wouldn't you? Would you buy a ticket to see it adapted to film?

3. I love to eat. Cambodian, Vietnamese, Thai, Greek, deli. Pickles. Peanut butter. Cheese. Cucumbers. Fish sauce. Noodles. Mussels and frites (well done). Ginger. Garlic. Dark chocolate. So much to eat. So little time.

4. I'd work out at the gym every day if I won the lottery and didn't have to instead schlep to my office regularly. While you wouldn't guess it from looking at me, I love Spinning, pushing weights around (though what's the link between retinopathy and weight training? Anyone?), biking, walking, and the elliptical trainer.

5. I'm a New Englander by birth and now by marriage, but I lived in New York while going to grad school and then for another seven years and I loved it. Walking the streets of Manhattan was great for keeping blood sugars under control. There's always something happening and you never know what you might find when you stroll down an avenue or turn a corner. The place is expensive and everything about living there is a hassle, but the energy and possiblity of the place thrilled me.

6. (By popular demand) Mr. Lyrehca just yelled from the other room that he's handy and want me to shout it from the desktop. The man knows his way around a toolbox and our house (and I) thank him for it.

Hmmmm.... I'm not sure who to tag next, since I haven't been reading everyone's blogs all that long. Anyone want to volunteer?