Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Pillow Fight

1. The pillow situation in my house had become untenable, particularly since I'm now bulging with pregnancy.

2. Because the pillows I’ve been sleeping on are what I used in college, I wasn’t surprised to learn I should get new ones, since, you know, the pillows I have been using are likely flattened, crushed and teeming with invisible dust mites.

3. Mr. L and I went pillow shopping this weekend. I tried out a $220 and a $160 pillow, and while the pricier one was downy, the $160 one wasn’t all that comfy.

4. I ended up buying a pillow that cost about the same as three pillows the Mister picked out.

5. That night, I tried out my new sleeping arrangement: new pillow cradled under my head, two flat pillows and two folded blankets piled up in between my legs as I sleep on my side, and a c-shaped pregnancy body pillow curved under my belly and behind my back, supporting me as I’m forced to side-sleep.

6. They say sleeping on your back at this stage of pregnancy can cut off circulation and breathing.

7. Why tempt fate?

8. Even though typically, I find back sleeping more comfy than side sleeping.

9. The Mister took one look at my side of the pillow-strewn bed and burst out laughing.

10. “What’s that coming out of your ass? A sperm whale?”

11. He was referring, of course, to the body pillow, which is about four feet long.

12. “Shut up,” I told him. “This helps me get more comfortable.”

13. More sperm whale comments ensured.

14. Disgusted, I kicked the body pillow out of bed and tried to fall asleep simply with my new under-the-shoulder pillow.

15. Several hours later, I awoke in total pain. It felt like my shoulder and thigh had been crushed into the mattress. (As an aside, my infusion set came dislodged, and my effing blood sugar was 227.)

16. Now further disgusted, I took myself and several pillows to our guest room, where we have a futon couch (after reattaching a new infusion set).

17. I slept there, fitfully, for the next few hours.

18. The rest of the week, I have slept in our marital bed, fortified by my leg pillow tower, my sperm whale body pillow, and my new fluffy head pillow.

19. I’ve felt much better and haven’t had hours of insomnia as in weeks past.

20. The sperm whale comments have ceased.

21. I consider this a victory of some sort.


Anonymous said...

you're funny. i like your humour^-^

Anonymous said...

Speaking as a man. Men can be very insensitive at times.

Tell him to lay off any comments related to your current state. It will pass, and it doesn't help to endure it when you're reminded about how you've changed.

This is an important lesson (no teasing, no kidding) that my ever-loving darling has taught me (finally, I think).

Glad to hear you're sleeping better - that must help lots.

Anonymous said...


You husband will soon learn to never, ever, smart off to his pregnant wife.

Anonymous said...

Don't you dream of sleeping on your stomach again! That is all I thought about when pregnant?

Anonymous said...

I am getting to that point where back sleeping is uncomfortable and tummy sleeping is out of the question. As pp poster mentioned, I dream of sleeping on my stomach. My body pillow comes out this weekend!

Anonymous said...

I do NOT miss sleeping while pregnant. Sperm whale...interesting choice of words, LOL.

Anonymous said...

I am glad to hear that you are finally getting some sleep!

Men can be so mean sometimes!

Watson said...

Ah yes, the 'sperm whale' body pillow, that's such a funny description.

I bought one a few months ago for some shoulder and back pain and I swear to GOD, just rolling over is like a military operation!

Glad you're sleeing better, with or without the whale


Anonymous said...

If you still dream of sleeping on your stomach then this is your dream come true...

KIm, a MA native has invented something called the belly bed,, which helps pregnant women sleep on their stomach.

it's only $40 - $49, far cheaper than all those pillows. Its inflatable (like a pool float, with a space for the tummy to fit in) and portable (fits in a backpack). Check it out, it just might help you get some rest...and say goodbye to the pillows. ;-)

Good Luck.

Carlynn said...

What a funny post, the sperm whale comment was too funny. I'm glad you're sleeping better.

Anonymous said...

haha - the sperm whale must be a Snoogle! I used to get SUCH hip aches without making myself a pillow nest. I'm glad you found a way to get some rest :-)

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