Monday, August 28, 2006

Back From Vacation

Just returned from a week on Cape Cod. It was great, although I had very limited access to the laptop.

I *did* have plenty of access to delicious fried clams and chowder, though, along with biking and walking all day.

I tested my blood sugars every hour, just about. I just wrote down all my numbers for my endo appointment this week and while the average numbers equal out to an A1c in the sixes, I still fear the ups and downs and how they're going to affect a growing embryo.

There are two email listserves for diabetic women and pregnancy; Positive Diabetic Pregnancies and Pregnant Pumpers (check them out on Yahoo Groups if you want to join them). I've been reading them ever since I moved in with Mr. Lyrehca (I knew we'd get married eventually, and I knew that would lead to questions about pregnancy. It's been three years since I joined these groups, and I posted my first questions this week. I always figured I had nothing to really ask about until I was actually pregnant.)

So I asked about the constant correcting I'm doing, that I'm annoyed when it takes two hours to bring a blood sugar back into range, and will the scads of extra sugar I'm eating when I go low affect a growing embryo? Surely all that sugar isn't good, right?

The answers were kind, and most praised me for my constant blood sugar efforts and several thought my A1c was "awesome," though it's been lower before. Most said that it's the longterm blood sugars that are more important than the day to day specific numbers.

But if that's the case, why am I worried when my pre-meal readings are say, 130, or 110, or 103, instead of the 70-90 range? If I'm higher than 140 an hour after a meal, I easily bolus and try to compensate for that. So it may take me a few hours to come down from a 200. Isn't that just packing the fat onto my future kid? And since I honestly don't see how I can manage these sugars any tighter than I am (counting carbs, vigilantly testing maybe 12 times a day, exercising), I just see this as being doomed to deliver a heavy kid. (Kassie over at Noncompliant wrote a nice post about the guilt of diabetic mothers who have heavy babies, but it doesn't make me feel any less concerned or nervous.) Having these constant numbers in my day, the constant need to monitor and correct my blood sugars and wake up in the middle of the night to test and dealing with the resulting insomnia makes me wonder how any diabetic woman with a shred of intelligence honestly ever has a calm and enjoyable pregnancy.

And maybe this worrying is premature. I still really don't feel all that different. My boobs aren't sore. No nausea. No sickness. I *have* fallen asleep around 9 for the past few nights this week, but just about always wake up for several hours in the middle of the night, either to treat an inexplicably high reading or to simply test and pee and then wait out the insomnia with a book for a few hours. My weight seems to be the same. My appetite is pretty much the same.

A few scheduled doc's appointments this week should shed some more light. The Mister and I are meeting with my endo tomorrow, and we have the first ultrasound scheduled later this week to hopefully see a flutter of a heartbeat on a screen. About a week and a half ago, I insisted on having a second pregnancy test done at the doctor's office to see if the HCG levels in my body were increasing (they were, at what Dr. Google calculated to be a nice rate). But that was 12 days ago.

I hope everything looks good and healthy and on target. Hopefully this week will bring some positive news. So much of infertility treatment is about waiting and waiting, but every day of a diabetic pregnancy seems similar to me. Waiting and waiting for another doc's visit or a blood test or an ultrasound to tell me how or even if things are progressing the way I hope they should be.


Kassie said...

My first pregnancy was calm and enjoyable - does that make me unintelligent? ;) But that was 9 years ago when the goal weren't nearly as tight. I do remember thinking that my first pregnancy could well by my only pregnancy and I was going to enjoy it, dammit.

I do not think it possible to acheive perfection during a diabetes pregnancy. So the challenge is to find a way to be ok with that, I guess. And that ain't no easy thing, for sure.

Beanie Baby said...

Weird, we're both on that group. I haven't checked in this week--guess I should so I can give you half-assed advice in two forums. ;)

Progesterone is going to kick your ass. There's no way around it. It's going to do absolute murder to your control, some days. It's not a gradual progression. It stays fine for a week or two then changes so much so fast that you're scrambling to catch highs for a week. In my pregnancy this started around 16 weeks.

It's natural to worry, but try to cut yourself a bit of slack. It's all the progesterone's fault.

Minnesota Nice said...

Here's hoping for good appointments this week.
Do you know when your due date is?

Rachel said...

here's hoping your appts put your mind more at ease. :)

Bfly said...

I agree with Beanie Baby! Your vigilance is amazing, but you need to cut yourself some slack; you're doing all you can! Be proud of it, and know your baby is benefitting by it - the cup really is half-full. Pregnancy is crazy and throws everyone for a loop; just go with it and keep up the great job.

I hope your appointments are good and helpful!

Sarah said...

So happy to see you over at PDP!

I responded, but figured I'd post it here too...Hear goes :)

One thing I found that helped me more when I was preg (never really noticed, or maybe not as neurotic non-pg) was to diligently start my bolus 10-15 minutes before I eat. That way the insulin had a head-start, would be working through the initial spike, and then leave as I came back down. I also played with my basals A LOT. PG is a whole new ballgame in the D world. Where normally a bolus rate change would be warranted, we'd find I was better off lowering my basal (pg, I ran near close to 9 different basals at one time).

Maybe try lowering your basal for about 2 hours, 2 hours before you're finding yourself going low (did that make sense?). I've got an amazing endo, who I love dearly, and I emailed her once a week throughout my entire pg and each and everytime we would fiddle with something.

Also while we all strive for those perfect 70-90 and <120, those numbers are darn near impossible to achieve every hour of every day for 280 days.

You're doing great!!

serenity said...

Funny - you'd think that getting those two pink lines would make it so that you're not waiting and waiting... but that's not how it works.

I am hoping that your appointment goes VERY well this week.


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